Sideline Sessions

Ross Romano: Welcome everybody to another episode of Sideline Sessions here on the BE Podcast Network. Thanks for being with us for what should be another informative conversation for coaches, for [00:01:00] parents of student athletes, for, you know, all of those stakeholders involved in youth and high school sports. There's a lot to think about here.

A lot to talk about. So my guest today is Chrissy Webbb. Chrissy is the co founder and executive director of Student ACES, a 501c3 with a mission to create champions. Through Student ACES, Chrissy has positively impacted over 50, 000 high school student athletes. And has taught them leadership skills, values, and character education to be successful men and women in the classroom, on the athletic fields, and in their communities.

Chrissy coaches both 12 and under softball and flag football. Chrissy, it's a pleasure to have you here.

Krissy Webb: Thank you, Ross, and I'm excited to be here on Sideline Sessions and get, get into it.

Ross Romano: Yeah, so let's start with the organization, or let's start basically with you. your introduction to coaching and then how that led to the founding of Student ACES. So, you know, I believe you co [00:02:00] founded it with your father. So kind of how did you first start to get involved in coaching and see that as a path that you wanted to get involved in?

And then how did that lead to founding Student ACES?

Krissy Webb: Well, to me, I mean, coaching is You know, when we think of coaches, we think of what we see on the, on the field, right? We see somebody physically with the clipboard and the whistle and all the things. Coaching to me is both on and off the field, right? So when you you're impacting the lives of student athletes, you're coaching them constantly.

You're always a coach when you decide to take that on. For me growing up, I had such positive coaches. My, my dad was, he coached a lot of my sports. And so in experiencing that growing up from a coach that is invested, obviously, as my father, but as you know, the people that were involved in my life, then that transitioned later on as [00:03:00] my daughters grew up and seeing kind of what was going on in sports and saying, you know, I, I want to step in not only as a coach, but as Somebody that can maybe change you sports for the better.

Ross Romano: And so how were you, I guess, thinking about your experience as a student athlete and with the coaching you were receiving in real time? Is it something that you reflected on more as you had kids of your own and saw what coaching was like? And I'm thinking about it in particular in the context of multiple times on the show we've discussed, I think, the challenges of. disrupting the cycle of the status quo, right? Those who grew up with coaches at whatever level, youth, high school, college, professional who might not [00:04:00] be described as positive coaches, all right, or might have more of that that old school mentality of tough coaching, bordering on, you know, crossing into that, that area of going beyond what's appropriate into some things that we now consider more abusive practices, right, but when that's your only experience.

I'm going to be talking about the process that you've had even if you know that you don't really agree with it or you didn't like it. It's hard to make that intentional step to do it differently. And in particular, if you feel like It got results, right? I, I really hated the way our coaches coached, but we won or, but I got to, I got a scholarship or I got where I wanted to go.

So how do I confidently do things differently? And how do I [00:05:00] stick with it if there's ups and downs or if there's some question about can I get the same results that I want in all areas. So I'm wondering, you know, you having had the experience of having a different type of coaching and how did you evaluate I guess, from your own perspective, right?

What were the results personally, as far as your own growth and development, as far as any other, you know, team or individual goals athletically, and then how you were able to kind of continue that forward within the landscape of the team? A lot of things, there's certain things we've gotten better at and, but then other issues have popped up, of course, as far as the way youth sports are run today,

Krissy Webb: So, now when I say that I had positive coaches, I also, I mean, I had other coaches that maybe were not so positive. You're talking the [00:06:00] old school hard coaching. I had that as well. The foundation that my parents, laid in with my sisters and I was that strong foundation of resiliency and being able to identify that, right?

So how people talk to you or, you know, you have the, the thick skin to kind of take it and then make your own decisions. So that was a fact that was laid in my foundation early on. And I was able to quickly realize that. Now, this is looking back, right? When you're in it, you were asking me when you're in it, do you really see it for what it is?

The answer is no, because you realize as you grow up, looking back, there's certain things that you, you are able to identify. So, in some of the tough coaches, You know, in, in different programs or organizations, and then you had the positive coaches, the, the athletes always wanted to be around the positive coaches.

My friends that were [00:07:00] most all athletes were at my house with my parents and, you know, they were asking my dad to throw them extra batting practice. And so you realize that those, the impressions that are made are by positive influences. And the reason why, you know, a lot of the reason why we started.

The organization and my passion is that every student athlete receives that experience growing up or while they're in high school is that safe, stable, nurturing environment to be able to grow as an athlete right now, not to say that I don't agree with, you know, coaching or, or being Disciplined, but, you know, my philosophy is that you're never going to get anywhere by screaming in someone's face especially during a game because you can't coach during a game.

You, you coach and then you, they, they play. So, you know, a lot of the different experiences that I had growing up led into a starting the [00:08:00] organization and then be, you know, coaching philosophy. On and off the field. So whether I'm, you know, the student athletes head coach or whether, you know, they have, they're on a team and then they're, you know, I'm coaching them in life. (ad here)

So,

Ross Romano: Yeah, and of course, all of us, you know, not to imply that we can't, right, be disciplined and, you know, drive maximum performance by coaching athletes, especially high level, ambitious athletes, coaching them hard, but that they're, they're It's important to have that foundation, I think, of, of honoring them as humans, right?

And, and, and respecting them in that way. And not, not that every, I think every coach or every sports program should be expected to have a well rounded social, emotional, and, and character development component in the way that Student ACES does, but that there's a difference in the way that we we do it.

Pull that performance out and, and, and ways that are demeaning, right? Versus other ways where it's, of course, if we know that we're working with athletes that want to perform at a high level, they're motivated to do so, and there's ways to take them above, you know, beyond the level they think they can get.

And that is intense. But but when it's, it's the underlying reminder of, you know, that we're respecting their humanity and it's a different approach. I did want to On that word I mentioned briefly, character. So Ace in Student Ace Isle, athletics character and education. And the character piece.

I think that's one where it's not necessarily obvious how you would define it, and especially in terms of sports teams, right? I think that's a word that's used a lot. But there may be a lot of different definitions. How do you define your focus on character?

Krissy Webb: so it's actually, it's actually athletics, community and education. But, but character is, is the foundation of all that ACE offers, right? So athletic, if you think about athletics, community education, that character piece, if you have a. It's a foundation of core values, which is what champions champions, the word champions is actually our core values as an organization.

So if, if we're saying, okay, these are core values that student ACES believes, and this is what is our makeup, and this is what we're teaching, then it's on the student athlete to take that and then define their own core values for themselves and what they're, what they're teaching. what makes up their, their character and then use that in their leadership ability, right?

So when we were, when we started Student ACES, we said, okay, if you can provide that guidance for each student to figure out their core values and what is their, their makeup, right? Then you, in athletics, in their community and in education is really where you can see them step up as leaders. And so that was kind of what.

Student Ace is what we started with and and now is what has taken us to where we are today and. You know, when you talk to high school students or when you talk to business professionals or really anybody everybody is asking, okay, what do you do for a living? Or what's your GPA? How, how fast do you run the 40?

Like, whatever those things, and that's not who these people are. They're people of integrity and honor and, and character and, and they respect others or they sacrifice for others. So. It's just how society is, is that's naturally our first question. So we work really hard in all of our programs to say, okay, sports is what you do.

It's not who you are. So who are you as people that can go out and be those role models and those leaders for the generations to come on and off the field? Because unfortunately, as athletes, everybody knows that it does end. Right, so you're looking at, you know, we'll talk football for a second, a running back a couple years ago, it was one and a half years, I think it's even shorter than that today so you are more than a running back.

So what is your future and what does that look like? So we work, you know, in all of our programs to push and probe with student athletes to, to, to get to that point where they can, and it might be in a high school and it might be 15 years down the road. You don't know when that, you know, that clicks for them.

But that's our, that's our mission is to provide, you know, that guidance for them to be able to get their own core values and that care, that foundation of. Ross, are

Ross Romano: froze right at the end of that. You can hear me now though, or you can hear me.

Krissy Webb: you want me to repeat anything or?

Ross Romano: Um, um, maybe we'll just go back and redo that section slightly. Since we had that. Yeah, I actually, I took a new double, you can check it later if you want to make a note. I think I pulled that right off the Webbsite, the athletics character education.

Krissy Webb: We just changed our Webbsite too, so that's good.

Ross Romano: so just check on that. But maybe I'll, we'll just go back to that, and that way it'll be a little smoother since we had the freeze anyway. I was going to leave it, but yeah, since we had that, it'll be easier to just cut around this piece and just start over there.

Krissy Webb: Maybe our old Webbsite, we just reset our Webbsite, like we've just launched our new, like literally yesterday, it pushes to our new Webbsite, so, you know, when you look at things a hundred times, yeah.

Ross Romano: yeah.

Krissy Webb: It shouldn't now, so when people go to our Webbsite, it shouldn't, it doesn't on this one, so that's good.

That's the good news,

Ross Romano: Alright, so we'll make it easy, so we'll put a marker here in the transcript, this is where we're going to restart. Now, so I did want to talk about, I, I mentioned briefly that word character earlier, and that's a word that I think it's not necessarily obvious in the sports context how we're defining that.

The word, I think it's used a lot in, in, by coaches and in sports programs but everybody might have a little bit of a different way of, of how they're defining that. So I wanted to ask, how are you. defining character in your programs and, you know, how does that relate to your definition of what it means to be a student athlete?

Krissy Webb: Sure. So our mission statement, as you mentioned early on, is to create champions. So the word champions for student ACES is, is made up of [00:09:00] our core values as an organization. So that's command, respect, honor your word. Aspire to greatness, maintain courage, possess a work ethic, second to none. Inspire others.

Own a winning attitude. Never settle and sacrifice for self and team. So that is what. If, if student ACES was built of character, those are our core values that drive our mission. And, and the programs that we deliver to high school student athletes. So our, our goal as an organization is to introduce the student athletes to these core values.

And then from there, the student athletes are challenged to generate their own character, their foundation of character and what they're going to live. by moving forward, right, as leaders. And so in order to have the, that ability to lead others and to be leaders, then you have to have a solid core value, core value system, and you have to know what you stand for.

So all of our programs really push at student athletes to, [00:10:00] to go dig deep and figure that out. And, you know, We don't know when that happens because there's life situations. So all of our programs are very interactive. We do role play, we do case studies so that they, so they can think of it in a different capacity.

So our student ACES, ACE stands for Athletics Community Education. So if you are a leader and you can, with a solid foundation of character, then in all of those spACES, you can be role models for generations to come. So it's this. pipeline of really focusing on, on character. And, you know, when you ask anyone, whether they're in the workforce or whether they're in high school or whether even at middle school age, who are you?

Right? Most of them would say, I am a football player. I have a 4. 0 GPA. I, this is what I do for my job. I'm a teacher. Right? So we, in [00:11:00] our programs, We say like sports is not who you are. It's what you do. So who are you? And if you can get that mindset to shift right, then you're You identify with who you are as a person, not what you do, because we all know that that's going to end.

And a lot of things that we see, especially with professional athletes, is this depression, or these, I don't know what to do with my life after, or I don't, you know, I'm so used to what I am in sports that, It's this whole new rev revelation of, okay, I have to be, what am I now? And so we, we hit that head on and, and that's a big component of our program.

And we actually asked the student that by the end of the program, the goal is for them to say, my name is so and so. I'm a person of integrity. I respect my teammates, so on and so forth.

Ross Romano: Yeah, and when you talked about the mission of creating champions, there's a variety of values associated with that and, but you, [00:12:00] Part of the program is having the individual student athletes define their own core values and, and that's an important part of it because as you referenced, I mean, even the average athlete that goes on to play at the highest level of their sport, typically they're going to be done before age 30, right?

So there's still a young person. And But certainly somebody who's into adulthood and but who if this is what they've been doing and focused on in many cases since, you know, early adolescence or earlier without having a lot of. Thought to who am I outside of the context of my sport, especially in team sports, right, where understandably there are goals and values associated with that team or that organization that team members are [00:13:00] expected to buy into and contribute to.

But it's also important to develop an individual identity and sense of self and to. proactively decide what do I care about? What matters to me? Who do I want to be? So that I am prepared for whatever comes. And, and well I'm wondering how young do you start with that? And , what is the, you know, a standard reaction?

I mean, how seriously do young athletes take that process? How, how, you know, how consistent are they in, in carrying those values forward or what have you found?

Krissy Webb: So our student ACE is the organization, right? We, our programs serve high school student athletes. We have four programs. And we serve high school student athletes. So when we started in 2013 [00:14:00] it was easy to introduce and then you hear over, gosh, now these kids are, they're in the business world, business world.

There are some are married, some have kids of their own and they're going through life and they, will reach out and say, Oh, you know, this is what I took from the class and this is how I applied it. And what do you recommend? You know, so that again, going back to, you don't know when they kind of figure it out.

So they're receptive. Yes. But like anything, when it's reiterated or when they experience and have to apply it, that's when it really sticks. Now my daughters were born in 2012. I have twin girls. They're, they're identical twins. So when we started the organization in 2013, they were babies. So now they're sixth graders and I'm house that all of their friends are at.

So while it's not a program of the organization, my job is to [00:15:00] introduce those core values to others, right? And for my daughters to be those leaders to other kids her age, whether it's at school or, you know, they play every sport at their middle school on and off the field, right? Cause it starts with one.

And so my daughters will tell you, you know, they understand and they can apply and it's been ingrained in them and their friends and their teammates. Because as you mentioned, I coached their 12 and under travel softball team. They've been introduced to it. They kind of look at you funny in the beginning, like, huh?

But then they see you use it, and they, and you give them examples, and you're giving them examples on the field, right? You're giving them examples how, you know, it shows up in school. So. As an organization, we start as early as middle school. But that doesn't mean that that middle school person or that high school person is not teaching it to their younger brother and sister.

And that's the goal is that it, it, you don't really know how many people are impacted [00:16:00] because you hope that those people that you've impact, impact others

Ross Romano: Yeah, yeah, it's I mean it's going back to even earlier when we were talking about discipline and what goes along with that is accountability and, and it's part of the initial confusion might come from that it's. challenging the individual student athletes to exhibit personal discipline and accountability, but for different things beyond what is standard in sports.

Cause it's not just about performance and winning and it's that, but it's about the things that are totally in your control, who you are as a person, how you behave as a member of a team and as a member of society and et cetera, and also trusting that. Developing those disciplines will lead into better performance in other [00:17:00] areas of your life as well.

But that it's, it's a lot bigger than that. And oftentimes, I guess, you know, sports are of course used frequently as a metaphor for life, right? And skills learned through sports that, that carry into other areas. But there's also the truth in saying that that character disciplines and skills that are more broad than sports also will contribute to success in sports if that's what somebody is motivated to do.

Krissy Webb: and at home, right? So to, piggyback on, on what was just said, some of these kids may not have role models with those core values. So it's something totally different than you're, they're used to seeing, right? So then that kid is going to react different to be, you know, when they're introduced to these words or to these core values, then their response may be very different because this is stuff that [00:18:00] they've never heard before.

And that they may go through life, you know, without hearing that this matters. So it starts. with who's around them. And we do an exercise with all of our high school student athletes where we say, okay, take out your phones. This is the only time in the class that you can take out your phones and look at the last five people that you've talked to.

Are those people helping you or hurting you? And if more people are hurting you than helping you, then that should be a clear answer to what you need to do. Who you surround yourself with is super important, right? I tell my girls that all the time. And, and. You don't want to be the smartest person in the room.

You always want to surround yourself with people where you can learn every single day. So, so it's, it's It's important that if they don't see this at home that they're seeing this in other plACES and it's our responsibility as parents and as neighbors and as, you know, education systems to make sure that we're giving each kid a shot and introducing them to [00:19:00] what, good values are.

Ross Romano: So Chrissy, you mentioned And student ACES programs are for high school athletes, and I also mentioned in the intro that you coach ball view softball, so more middle school age there. So I wanted to talk a little bit about kind of what you've learned from working with athletes at kind of each of those age groups.

I guess we'll start with the younger athletes that, you know, what, what have you learned from that experience? What are the things that in particular stand out that would be worth hearing about for somebody else out there. And it could be something, you know, also feel free if it's something specific to the sport.

We might have somebody out there who's a coach in, of softball or a parent of young softball players or or just things that are particular to coaching athletes at that age.

Krissy Webb: Well, with anything, I mean, learning is so important. I think that coaches, sometimes coaches think that their way [00:20:00] is the best way and they're not going to listen. I learn more from my, the girls that I coach every single day that makes me a better coach. So I started with a core group of these girls when they were eight and under.

So to watch them develop and grow and to be that person that they look to for guidance and for, I'm going to be talking about the importance of skills and an ability and in this in softball, it's really cool to see, right? So I enjoy every minute of coaching the girls. Girls are very different than boys and how we handle emotions and hormones now at this age level of 12 and under.

But when I started coaching, I, Just kind of jumped in. It was right after COVID. And the girls wanted to continue to play after rec and, and there was a city, it was a city organization. And after two years of being with the city, I was like, okay, why am I doing this [00:21:00] when I have an organization that.

We can really look at how these girls are developing and growing as, as student athletes. So, softball is a very, I always say this, softball is a very, very detailed sport. It's not easy to just pick up the ball. And play softball. There's so many rules, there's so many different situations, right?

So they go from 8 under where it's like coach pitching to you, to 10 under where you have pitchers that can only last an inning or two because they're still not strong and, and if you don't, you know, know how to pitch right as a coach, then you have to find pitching coaches and all of these different things that are very different than when I was growing up.

When I was growing up playing softball, you had your city, Oregon, everybody played for the same team. Now it's, there's teams everywhere. And you had X amount of coaches. Now everybody has their own hitting coach, their own pitching coach, their own, you name it coach. So you're taking girls [00:22:00] that each have their own coach.

And then you have a head coach for the travel sport. So it's. different than I was used to. So I had to learn that, right? And I also learned that, you know, when you coach your own kids, you have to be very careful on how, you know, you handle that, right? Now each, each one of the girls feels like my own, right?

That pit in your stomach feeling for your own kid now is times 12. Every girl that's on the mound, every girl that's behind the plate feels And if I told you I knew everything about the sport or remembered everything about the sport, yeah, I could go out and play it. But to coach it is very different. So, you know, just like, The athletes have to be a student of the game.

The coaches have to be a student of the game. What's changing? My philosophy for each year, you know, there's different things in softball, specifically that, you know, you you, you have to stand in front of them and call time out in eight and under, right? In, in 10 and under you can steal. There's [00:23:00] a clock, right?

So the clock expires after. You have some coaches that will kill the clock. If there's three minutes left, call timeout, tie the shoes, do all the things, right? To me, that's not teaching them the game, because my goal is for them to play in middle school, high school. Now they're in middle school, so high school.

And if they want to go on and further their career in softball in college because I truly believe that athletics Like we talked about before, it makes you a well rounded person. You know, and, and I see all kinds of things, you know, on, on the field. Softball, you play in tournaments, you play three games on a Saturday, then you go into pool play on a Sunday and it's, we're in South Florida.

I'm in South Florida, so it's in the middle of summer, it's a hundred and something degrees. So you're, you have to motivate these kids. in all different ways, you know, they're hot, they're tired, they're, and they have to get out there and their legs are tired, you know, especially the pitchers and, and [00:24:00] they have, they really, you really see support.

There's, You know, they're tired, they're exhausted, and, and that's when you see, that's what you train for, you know, in anything, I mean, you, you train for that, and it's really cool, as a coach you know, being with, with the girls, and seeing them grow, and, and the most proud of them, that I, you know, the most proud I am is, is how they are off the field, so we've had several guest players, you know, there's situations where people are sick, or whatever the case may be and every guest player that we've ever had says, Oh my gosh, the girls were so welcoming and we want to play for you guys anytime.

And, and as a matter of fact, some, some people have ended up coming and playing for our organization. That is the biggest compliment that you can give me. If you can tell me that all of our girls on our team were welcoming, kind, and they want to come back, that to me is going to set these girls up,

for life, having those skills. So that's when you see those, when we were talking about before, that's when you really see [00:25:00] them stand out, but. It is really cool to see.

Ross Romano: Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that's a life skill. That's come up a couple of times in this conversation earlier. We were talking about with coaches and being, you know, and what you experienced with your dad was your coach and he was the coach that players wanted to be around, wanted to spend time with. Right.

And now with your young student athletes being welcoming and being a team that people want to be a part of that, that is. One of the top life skills. We talk about it in the context of career and that, again, it's not the thing that's going to be listed on a job posting as far as the competencies and requirements for a position, but.

It's something that enters everybody's mind when they're interviewing you is, is this somebody I would want to spend time with? If I hire this person and I'm working with them every day, [00:26:00] am I going to be happy about that? Am I going to regret it? You know, once I'm in an organization, am I, you know, whatever it is, sports, it's a big thing in sports.

I've seen many times where athletes who aren't the most talented but who have enough talent, but also are a good, you know, leader, a good teammate, a good member of a locker room, and so on, will get more opportunities to make another team, or to, you know, that there's always somebody who wants to acquire, even at the professional level, that It's not only about talent and ability, but it's about if it's a team, how does this team perform as a whole?

And everybody who's there can either add to or subtract from the greater whole. And there's plenty of [00:27:00] examples of, you know, I think the more publicly known examples would be of really talented. athletes who, whose careers didn't go the way that people may have thought because of character concerns or, you know, because teams just got tired of having them around and they might not quite have the insight into the opposite.

But it's very true that, that being somebody who, who, you know, makes it a better environment to be in, is a positive skill in sports, in the workplace, in school, in, you know, communities in, you know, wherever you are,

Krissy Webb: And you have to be honest, you know, I was thinking about that too. It's like, you know, competitive sports, right? In competitive sports, [00:28:00] there's a lot of teams that maybe shouldn't be playing competitively 12 and under, right? If you want to be in a very competitive. Travel program or, you know, playing at the highest level for that age group. As coaches, we have to be honest. And, and you know, you go from, oh, you made contact, right? I get really upset when a parent says, oh, great, you made contact. You know that, that, that at bat wasn't. a good, that's not a good hit, you know? So, you know, a lot of, you see a lot of that, I, you know, some people have different words for it, coddling or setting low expectations in, in competitive sports.

I mean, my, What we tell the kids, you better compete in everything, right? You're competing on the field, competing in the classroom, you're competing against kids that are practicing when you're not. But being honest with the athlete, you know, this goes for every [00:29:00] sport. It's like, you know, you see some coaches just saying whatever to get that kid on the team.

But listen, if you're going to have a bad attitude and your shoulders come down and you are throwing helmets and like, I can go find talent somewhere else. And I think. You know, some athletes get away with doing that because nobody's ever been honest or said, Hey, that behavior is not going to cut it.

And then the parents say, you know, that's a whole different issue, but then the parents will say, Oh, you know, it's okay behavior, you know, and, and for me as a coach, that's not okay behavior. So, and, and it's not perfect, right? That's where you teach. That's where you coach. That's where you improve, right?

So they do it. You hope that they don't continue to do it. Um, that's, that's the work. (ad here)

Ross Romano: right. Yeah. And I mean, as far as, and, and as you mentioned, like the, you know, appropriate phrase, right. And, and what it means to be encouraging. And this is a [00:30:00] conversation we had an early effort, earlier episode with Heather Sumlin around, you know, parents matching the child's level of interest.

basically, right? And saying, look, if your child just wants to play sports for fun and they're not super competitive and they're, you know, then you can't try to push them to be super intense and competitive. That's not why they're there. And that's not going to work. The same applies vice versa. If your child is very into their sport and they want to be a high achiever and you as a parent.

aren't really interested, or, you know, you're, you're kind of indicating that you don't really care. You don't really think it's important. That also sends a bad message. That doesn't mean everybody has to be an expert on the sport, but you have to treat it as something, you know, that's honoring your child's level of, of dedication to that.

And And what it means to be supportive, you know, I would, I would [00:31:00] probably describe it as that it's not just about saying whatever they do is good because, you know, my son, by the time he was two years old, he knew the difference between if he accomplished something or didn't, right? And if he didn't, he didn't.

Messed up and you told him good job. He would say, no, not good job. And you had to say, good try. And this is a two year old like that. So obviously older kids are going to know, okay. What I did wasn't actually good. And you can maybe, you know, tell me, do you appreciate the effort? But being supportive might mean showing that you believe that I can do it and that you will help me to get.

the support, the training, the practice to accomplish what I want to accomplish. But also acknowledging the truth and being honest about the fact that there's still some work to do. Right. And that's going to make a bigger difference to that, to the athlete who's competitive and who may, [00:32:00] you know, sometimes put a lot of pressure on themselves and a lot of stress to say, okay, I have.

people who are seeing me for what I am and what I'm doing and who are demonstrating that they're going to be there to help me. So I don't have to do it all on my own or I, or I don't feel like nobody cares.

Krissy Webb: Absolutely. Yeah.

Ross Romano: yeah. So, you kinda, you touched on this a little bit and it is something I definitely want to talk about, which is the parent piece. And this, you know, this, carries into high school as well and unfortunately carries beyond that. And, and there's been a lot of discussion about that nowadays, but you, you know, when we spoke previously, you told me about having that clear contract with parents, clear agreements around behavior, around, you know, what will fly and what will not and, and what that needs to look like.

And I'd love to hear more about that [00:33:00] because that that's become, of course, one of the challenges with coaching at any level of student athlete. And the reason why a lot of people Don't want to get involved in coaching and the reasons why a lot of young athletes have a challenging experience is, is those parental relationships and so, as a coach, how do you approach that?

Krissy Webb: It's the, it's the hardest piece, and if you talk to any coach in youth sports, they're going to tell you the same thing. The parents are the challenge, right? And I honestly think that's the issue with why we can't find umpires in softball, and I think that's across the board. And as you mentioned, the contract.

So I learned as I've, I did not expect it, the parents to be the way it is. When I was, when their girls were eight and under you know, I was grew up in travel softball and. [00:34:00] It was cutthroat like at an early age at 10 and under we had a starting team and then we had the second starting team like it was just how it was sometimes you didn't play and that was my, that's what I continued to think it was because we're talking about very competitive sports so early on I figured out that there has to be boundaries and there has to be a very clear, you know, boundary.

Clear examples, clear language that says this is what I am, this is, or this is what our program is, this is what you can do, this is what you can't do and then being able to point back to that contract and making sure that the, Girls knew what that contract says, so they have to sign it as well. And then it's a reference point, right?

So if there's ever something that comes up, then you can refer back to that. And, and I cannot stress that enough. If you are a youth coach, high school [00:35:00] coach, college coach, whatever, at any level, you want to have that clear expectation, what you're going to bring to the table. And if you're an athlete and you're the parent, you want that from the coach, right?

You want to know what the program is, what you can expect, right? Because again, going back to, if you have an athlete that just wants to have fun and isn't at that level, then maybe that is not the right program. So I can't stress enough the importance of a contract and what that first parent meeting is like so that they can ask questions if there is any gray and that you can get to the bottom of what you expect.

I go as far as. what I want the athletes to be eating in on game days. Like I don't want greasy food. I don't want, so I'm very particular in what, what my expectations are and what, you know, I, I expect from the athlete and then what they can expect from me. And then the second piece is going back to what you said a little bit [00:36:00] about, I call it delusional parent syndrome.

And I, and I truly believe that it's a thing, right? Because it is hard. It's hard. You look at your child and you think, Oh, my child is the best, right? But if your child is on a team and thinks that they're going to get more playing time, or the situation is going to be different on another team, and they're still in that situation, and they go to another team and they're still in that situation, then it's probably not the sport, right?

So then you see where kids miss out on all of this time to play other sports when the parent hasn't recognized that. Okay, maybe that's, this is not for my child. I've had the conversation with parents that, that said, went something like, just because you buy, purchase catcher's gear, that mean, doesn't mean that your daughter is a catcher. This is what a catcher is. This is what the standard is. This is what the expectation is. This is where they should be by this age. Same with pitchers, same with outfits, same with every position. It's, it's two [00:37:00] part, right? It's, it's the drive to want to get better, right? And then it's the ability. Some kids just don't have that ability.

As much as they work, and I, and I hate to say it like that because there's probably other things that they can obviously do very well, but at some level of competitive play, there's just some things that some kids cannot, cannot do like a, you know, run super, super fast as an outfielder or pitch, you know, or whatever the case may be.

So you just have to look at. that from a parent's perspective and, and if you do have that clear, those clear boundaries set, then you can say, okay, this is what, this is where I, this is where your athlete is or whatever the case may be. And then you start to see different levels, right? You see the girls that are growing, that are growing and, and surpassing some of the others too.

So then it, there's a that [00:38:00] happens, you know, the middle school age that, The girls that are, you know, you see the talent level separate and then it becomes harder and harder, right? You had a lot of teams in eight and under, you had a lot of teams in 10 and under. Some are really bad, some are decent, some are really good.

And then you have some continue on and then you start to see those bad teams, not, not so good anymore. But you can go around to any field and you can hear parents and somebody recorded all of it. I mean, it's. horrifying. I mean, to the point where I was coaching this past weekend and someone was calling the balls and the strikes and I'm like, you know, Mr.

Umpire, since when do parents get to call, like, tell you that you're wrong and you're calling balls and strikes? Like, this is not okay. Or they're picking off signs for 12 year old girls. Like this is, that is just not okay. In my book, you know, you can, there's a difference between [00:39:00] scouting and, and being. cheap like that, you know, these are kids, right? You want across the board, you want all the kids to get better and you want to play the game because that as they get older, they have earpieces. I mean, we just got clearance in softball to have earpieces and watches for pitch calls. So that doesn't work again, going back to teaching them to play the game the way it's intended to play.

So you have parents that are just. You don't, some don't even really know much about the sport, but they're experts if you ask them. So I've been as blunt to say, okay, I'm not going to coach this game. If you think you can do a better job, you all come and coach these girls and let me know how it goes. I mean, that hasn't happened, but then real people quickly realized that a working with middle school girls is not the easiest.

You're a counselor, psychologist, coach. You know, they're all of it. So, you know, with the, with the parent situation. It's a challenge. I think it's our [00:40:00] biggest challenge in sports because you see, you see it showing up in high school and now college and now the professional, right? It's, it's okay. My kid isn't, my kid's not getting playing time.

So I'm going to go to another team

Ross Romano: Right.

Krissy Webb: that's starting in, that started in 10 and eight and under. So if they're constantly being moved, what do you think happens when they go into high school and some other coach comes and talks to them or college, right? Then they're in the transfer portal right away. It's like, because you set the bench.

Well, maybe. That's, you know, there's another piece going on there. So what can you do to improve the team? I, I truly believe that if teams stuck together, know, and got to mesh a little bit longer, instead of everybody thinking that their kid's the next Jenny Finch in softball, I'm using a softball term, or Derek Jeter, whoever, then That kid can develop in their contribution to a team, because if not, they're constantly trying to fit themselves into a team.

So, I don't know the answer yet. I wish I did, [00:41:00] because it's, it is a challenge. I do have a 48 hour rule. No parent can come talk to me about playing time or anything with their child for 48 hours. Because, You know, you have parents that are next to you in the stands and they're telling you what you should do and what you shouldn't do.

So until things have settled down, I have a 48 hour rule and I highly recommend it for any coaches.

Ross Romano: Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I think certainly a lot of it can go back to that,

you know, piece of matching the child's level of interest, the passion, and, and, you know, if there's a kid whose ability just isn't quite showing up yet, but they are determined, like, this is what I want to do then their parent can support them and continue to pursue that sport. Yeah. doing it appropriately, right?

Not arguing with the coaches and things, but encouraging them to just keep, keep trying, keep improving. But so many times it's led [00:42:00] by the parent and their own, you know, goals or things. I'm wondering in that, that process of implementing and then having that Contract upheld not that it's totally a, a negotiation in this case, but, but how do you identify the self interest in the parent, like the parent's incentive to abide by it without,

you know, penalizing the, the kid, right? I mean, that, of course, there's a certain point at which, look, if you're not going to abide by the parameters that we've set here, then. You can't be a part of this program. But. You may have a kid who's doing everything they're supposed to do to be a part of the program and a parent who is difficult and you may have a conversation with the kid and they really want to be a part of it and, you know, and you're trying to [00:43:00] work it out.

But I guess, how do you get the parents to see, especially those ones who are having a little harder time with it? Look, it's It's actually to your benefit to, to do, to get with the program here, you may think that your way of doing it is helping your child, but in fact, it's, it's not. And if you think that it is, then you have to do it somewhere else because that's not the way we do things here.

Yeah, I guess, you know, the, the, I guess the reason I would say why. The parents who are overbearing, overinvolved, you know, doing this is because they think that it's helping somebody. And how do you get them to see that in fact it's not?

Krissy Webb: Well, when it gets to a point where It's hurting my other players too, right? So if you have, I have, I [00:44:00] hate negative talk from the stands. I hate it. It's like, I will say it in the middle of a game. I will stop and I will stop the game and I will look to my stands and if I hear anything negative, you can usually find that parent in the outfield in a chair.

I will them to, you know, if that behavior continues, again, going to the outfield. And you, until somebody else sees it they know that, okay, that you're not playing around, right? That's the opportunity that they want. Unfortunately, you do have situations and I've had situations where the kid's great and the parent just is a challenge and, and you're being cursed at or whatever the case may be.

And, and it does hurt the kid. Now, let me say this too. Any of the, of the parents that are listening coaches talk and, and people talk. And so what you have is sometimes where they blackball their own kid from all, all different teams because nobody wants to deal with it. So, [00:45:00] you know, there's a, there's a lot of great parents, you know, there's a lot of supportive parents.

love all of the parents that we have now. It's taken a, you know, it takes a little while, but you know the behaviors you want and you don't want. For buy in purposes I think that comes from the confidence of the coach. Like, if, if you know that this method is But you're willing to also learn new ones or listen to the girls.

You know, there's different, different ways. Again, going back to like, My Way Is The Highway. So you create that conversation and you create that, that buy in that way. A, you respect everyone, you respect the girls, and you know what you're bringing to the table. And you know that it works, right? Again, they're still 12 years old.

So, you know, you can have all the talent in the world. And this past weekend, our girls played just one game, and it didn't even look like the same team. You don't know, you're dealing with all different kinds of things. And that's sports across the board. But that buy in is that confidence from the coach that says, okay, [00:46:00] This is what will work.

You know, there's anything that I'm missing to you have that conversation, but again, that confidence in your program and, and, and the, what they see, you know, I've had a couple of parents and I, you know, the, not what I said before was the, the best compliment you can pay me is that my girls represented the organization the way it needs to be represented and that they were welcoming and they have friends of, you know, that they are good people, right?

And for me, you know, I've had some parents say, Hey, you really encouraged my daughter from the other team. So, you know, walk the walk, talk, talk, you know, the saying it's, it's a brand for us too. And, and we can't be teaching character and leadership to kids all over if we're not doing that on the field.

And so. That's the best compliment you can pay me. And I think that creates the buy in. Again, you're not this, you know, it's not always sunshine and rainbows, as you say. It's hard. It's hard work. And, and, you [00:47:00] know, there's still girls that some days they have bad days and they have attitude. My own, one of my twins, she puts her shoulders down and it drives me nuts, but she's super, super competitive.

So you're learning, they're learning all of these emotions, right? We had a situation where, you know, you, you shake hands in the middle of the field and the other team, it was a 3 2 ball game, you know, last play of the game. And they're coming over and raising their hands above our dugout for our girls to go through the dugout.

And I had to tell the coach, listen, this is not what we're teaching these girls. You know, that's yes, maybe at the eight and under age, but like as they start to get older, it's okay for kids to be upset with. How they played or their hit or whatever, but only for a couple of seconds. Then they have to go play in the field or then they have to go to bat or whatever the case may be.

And same with the parents. Like it just is part of the game. If you watch the college girls play, I mean, they're getting blown out and they're still cheering as loud as possible. That's why I love college softball because that, You don't lose that fire. And that's hard to explain to a 12 year old, a middle school [00:48:00] kid, because they're dealing with so much.

They're figuring, they're trying to figure that out and figure out how that shows up. So I think buy on it, buy, buy in is created by action. I truly believe that.

Ross Romano: Excellent. So Chrissy, I want to finish with how, how you define how you evaluate your success as a coach or what it means to be successful if you're being successful and, you know, and, and you're coaching at a couple of different levels. So there may be some differences, you know, it might not be as extreme as if I'm coaching T ball, I, you know, If the kids keep showing up and they're, it means that they're enjoying it and they want to be there, that's great.

If I'm managing the Yankees, I have a little more emphasis on World Series, right? But but still, there may be some differences there, but, but how are you, you know, when you're reflecting on the work that you're doing and your own success, how are you evaluating what success looks [00:49:00] like?

Krissy Webb: For me, it's, it's physical, it's mental and it's emotional, right? So the physical piece, right, is I measure success. If there's an area of improvement and they're. moving that needle, right? Or there's another skill set that they can add to that. Emotional is they excited to talk about different things or the IQ piece of the game or I'm going through this at school and, you know, this is how I handled it, right?

You're the person that they want to talk to or get feedback from. The mental side of it is that growth that we were just talking about is that whatever their weakness is whether it's, you know, getting mad that they struck out or they however they internalize things, it's that their, their ability to shift that, or, you know, the resiliency that's built in, or if they're going through some sort of of hitting slump and they're coming out of that.

[00:50:00] Because most of the times it's mental. So I measure success in that. biggest way I measure success is that I get invited to say they're up for an award at their school or that they're telling me about that or that they're, you know, they always want to be around the environment that I, that I'm in.

Meaning, They all want to go to go in the car to go eat or they want to be and I'm very structured and disciplined like my girls are not allowed to have phones when they're at a restaurant together. because they have to talk to each other. That's the team dynamic. And they all want to be around that. So that just tells you that they enjoy being around the culture that is, that is created.

So I look at it from a very high level. And I think that's because in working with high school student athletes and having now a lot of college athletes and even professional athletes, you realize quickly that at 12 and under there's no scouts. There's no, so this [00:51:00] is the development time. So they, Make mistakes and they learn from those mistakes and you're there along the way with them.

So our whole philosophy whether it's travel softball, or whether it's flag football at the, their school, they play on a flag football team at school. And I help coach that. It's the same. It's just that you're able to make a kid smile and, and improve just a little bit. And you hope that other people along the way can add to that tool set, right?

You're giving them these tools that you just want to keep adding and keep adding and then be there, you know, when. Maybe there's no no hope, you know, for them because for them, you know, at that age, there's, you know, oh my gosh, I can't hit a ball or I can't, you know, it's like, I hate that word. I hate, can't it's, it's not allowed, but that they're, that's how they feel.

So you have to recognize that that's how they're, they feel and quickly pivot them to being able to see that that's not how it's going to be. So [00:52:00] long answer, but that's how I measure success. And that's kind of what. my scorecard is as a coach.

Ross Romano: Excellent. Well, listeners, we hope you've enjoyed this episode. If you want to learn more about Student ACES, the Webbsite is studentACES. org. Chrissy, if people are in your area, how, who's, who can get involved? How can they do that?

Krissy Webb: So any of the high schools in South Florida, so that's Palm Beach County Broward and Miami Dade, we have different programs that are offered throughout those counties and for high schools. So my contact information is on our Webbsite. Feel free to reach out, ask any questions. We are very open and willing for schools to get involved in our programs.

Ross Romano: Excellent. Well, yeah, if you're down there in the South Florida area, check that out. Or if you just want to learn more about Student ACES, about the values, about their approach to coaching, if it's something you're interested in, wherever you are the Webbsite again, student ACES. org. We'll put the link to that below.

We'll [00:53:00] also put the link to where you can find them on social media so that you can learn more and follow them there, please. Also, if you have not already do subscribe to sideline sessions, we'll continue to bring you insights from coaches, from a variety of sports levels across the landscape throughout the rest of the season, if you're enjoying the show.

We always do appreciate those five star Apple reviews. They really help more listeners like you find out about the show. So please do that. Or if you want to learn about more of our shows and education, visit bpodcastnetwork. com. Chrissy, thanks again for being on the show.

Krissy Webb: Thanks, Ross. I enjoyed it. Thank you so much.